Picture it: You’re blind. Or you’re in a wheelchair. You’re traveling somewhere independently, whether it be crossing the street, going through a mall, or taking the subway. Some random person comes up and grabs you without your consent, in an attempt to “help.”
Pretty scary, right?
People with disabilities, women especially, are unfortunately constant victims of this. Whether it’s an able-bodied person grabbing a hand, wrist, or mobility aid such as a cane, guide dog, or wheelchair, they’re doing more harm than good. Sure, giving them a stern talking-to and insisting that you’re fine will, more often than not, get the point across. However, some individuals may need a bit more of a push in the right direction. Yank your hand away. Make a scene. Say something in a loud volume so passersby can hear you.
I’ve heard stories of people in wheelchairs being pushed in a completely different direction than wherever they’re trying to go. Guide dog users have had their dogs’ harnesses grabbed and pulled. And if you say something, like “Stop,” or “I’m fine,” sometimes the person trying to help you will get offended and make it into even more of a scene.
How would you like it if someone came up and grabbed you, pulled you, steered you somewhere you weren’t trying to go, completely disorienting you in the process? It’s frightening. Sometimes it could even be considered kidnapping.
I was traveling through Boston last week as I do, and some random lady — a person I’d never seen before — was waiting for me at the bottom of the escalator going down to the inbound Green and Orange Line platforms in North Station. She grabbed me as soon as I got close enough, probably trying to “help” me get off the escalator.
Like I hadn’t taken one of those a billion times before.
It caught me off-guard. I almost lost my balance as the thing was coming to an end. I could’ve tripped. She could’ve tried to abduct me. I kept telling her, “No, no, no, I’m good, I’m good, I’m good, let me go.” Eventually, she got it, mumbled something unintelligible, and left me alone.
Then some other random lady grabbed me as I was getting into a packed Green Line train later in the day. I was just looking for the pole to hold on to, as I was only going two stops. She grabbed my wrist without my consent (again, the same arm I use my cane with), and shoved me into an empty seat.
This individual didn’t speak English, so I had a difficult time conveying how inappropriate that was.
Some people told me these women were just trying to help. And, yes, I suppose so — but that still doesn’t take away that what they did was wrong. You don’t approach someone and grab them. Ever. If you want to help, simply ask! There’s no harm in asking. And if someone declines your offer, please don’t throw a fit just because you want to feel like you did your good deed for the day. Move on. Don’t push it. No means no.
I’m not a piece of luggage.
Reminds me a trip with my family